Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
