the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
