these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
