I'm gonna have a badass scar
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
