My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
