Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
As shirtless as possible
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
