How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
