Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he was CRYING into my vagina
she told me i tasted like america
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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