Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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