so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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