UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
