Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
