haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
