we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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