everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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