3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
