i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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