Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
