wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize