ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
