I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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