Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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