It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
