What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
only you would photoshop your dick
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
