There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
