Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize