my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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