Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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