Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
