we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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