I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
