have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
