You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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