I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
