I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
