when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
