OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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