Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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