I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
