that's an acceptable place to lick
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Randomize
