it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
