whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I could make wine with my vomit
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
