lets start a swedish sibling band together
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
