I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
