FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
