# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
