Pappa wants mamma naked
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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