dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
