All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
