I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
