By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
