What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
