i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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