Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
