is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
