I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
