does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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