he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
