You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
