That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This baby is an asshole
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
