i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's never too late to be topless.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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