The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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