Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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